Paul Roberts – The man behind the ironing board - an update...

With Mayhem now just a muddy stain on his favorite T-shirt, Paul got in touch to tell us how he got on in his 3rd solo at Mayhem with of course his trusty ironing board along with the ride.2008 will probably go down as one of the toughest Mayhem’s to date, but Paul survived to tell his tale:

I’d seen the weather forecast and knew what was to come, again. Walking down to the start at 1.55 pm I somehow got spotted by the commentator and he made some comment about care in the community – being me you have to take the flack that comes with being a member of my special club.

The first lap was frustrating with the bottle necks, even solo you are keen to get on with it after all the build-up. 2 laps and I came in for some sandwiches and another 2 laps took me to around 8 o’clock when I got some hot food, not sugar based, savory, mmmmmm.

Lights on and the next lap wasn’t too bad but the second took me an age, the conditions were quickly deteriorating, there were a lot of unhappy riders out there through the night.

I got my head down around 1 with my alarm set for 4.30. I awoke to see sideways rain, it was blowing a gale and raining, I was faced with a dilemma.

Either stay in my horse box in what was possibly the most comfortable bed there or get damp lycra on and go out to join the sorry looking guys coming in caked in crap with their rear mechs hanging off, uummmm.

It took me until around 5.45 to get out and yes, it was grim but it was light, the rain was stopping and we were on the second day.

 

It was here that I had my special moment.

 

I was having to walk big stretches each lap and the laps were taking their toll.

But….

Here I was, getting round with hundreds of people in the same boat, all doing their best, not wanting to concede and not wanting to let somebody down. These people were going through it and still finding time to give me some support, I must have had more encouragement than anyone else and I felt that if I took the easy option, I’d be letting all those people down. Tomorrow would be back to normal, just work and family to worry about. For me more than most, it is about enduring – both ridicule and pain in equal measure. I did as much as I could and strategically finished amongst the first with 10 laps behind me.

 

I did enjoy it, all of it, the good and the bad and I managed to keep my sense of humour and focus on what I was doing; a 24 hour endurance event.

 

Thanks to everyone who supported and helped me round. Thanks for the people who picked me up and helped me get untangled from the low branches. Thanks to the organisers and helpers who give us this annual opportunity to put ourselves through it.

Most of all, thanks to my ironing board for sticking with me and to me, for helping people notice me and giving them a reason to say “press on mate”, “full steam ahead”, “are you board yet” and the most common one “why?””

 

Paul Roberts aka Ironingboardman

To find out more about paul and his adventures with his ironing board and maybe to explain the “why” question read on...

Paul Roberts – The man behind the ironing board.

He may not be a familiar face to many people but I’m sure those that have encountered this gentleman in previous Mountain Mayhems, will surely never forget the experience.

Why is he unforgettable? Well Paul has in the past completed 2 solo rides at Mayhem, complete with an ironing board and iron strapped to his back, all in the name of…err…. a well pressed shirt – or Extreme Ironing as it’s known.

For those of you that have never heard of this quirky sport, well as they describe it themselves, it’s an addictive danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt…

Okay wanna give us a bit of background? How did you get involved with this crazy sport and what were you doing before?

I am 41years young and have a long and mixed history. I have been in sales for 20 years and so drive 35,000 miles a year. I am married to Sarah and have 3 kids, 3 dogs, 4 cats, 20 chickens, 2 ducks and 2 horses. (I once spent a few years galloping round on an ex race horse doing cross-country etc with no brakes but don't have time now). The people in my lane would be shocked if they new of my secret - I usually look very normal and boring.

I loved school and was in all the sports teams with my main love being athletics, throwing and sprinting, I hated cross-country. At college I did the usual I wanted to look better and be tougher so did some weights and martial arts to which I ended up achieving black belt status and loving the history and artistic side of it.  While travelling I got into water sports, mainly kayaking and later did windsurfing. I kayaked on the river Indus in Nepal and properly drowned before being resuscitated. Back in the UK it all went a bit silly, we started jumping off bridges, climbing in North Wales and once tried to windsurf around Anglesey (unsuccessfully). I got my first MTB, a Ridgeback called Roger back in 1991 and grew to love the Wyre Forest in Worcestershire, it is a great place to ride. I somehow got into Triathlons because I wanted to try everything but never trained properly. My first ever tri was a half IronMan distance which took me 6 hours. I did things like a race called Tough Guy in the midlands, which were just stupid. My best triathlon was a full distance or IronMan (2.4 mile swim - 112 mile bike - 26.2 mile run), which took me 11 hours 22mins.

How many times have you ridden Mountain Mayhem, with and without the iron? 

I heard about MM and got a team together about 2001 and we loved it, Sandwell was a great track. I then did it two more times as part of a team and always admired the solo guys, how the hell do they keep going when 1 lap nearly killed me? So I entered solo the first time at Eastnor 2004 and it was tough but not as tough as I'd hoped. This bit is important - I have no idea why I entered again in 05 solo and decided to do it with the board and iron.

So you’ve done 2 solo rides complete with iron and board and you’ve just enetered for your 3rd. Why? 

I don't know, some men wear women’s clothes on a weekend, I iron them and ride my bike!

Though I guess you could call me an adrenalin junkie, always looking for new ways to get my fix. I’d ridden MM ’04 as a soloist but found it too ‘easy’. I did the London Marathon in 04 and saw a guy who had run it (and beat me) with an ironing board on, I thought it was great and he got lots of encouragement and attention. So I found out more via the Extreme Ironing Bureau and a plan was soon formed.

So I entered MM in 2005 and it was great. The weather at MM was terrible but I got so much encouragement and hundreds of rubbish ironing puns and came 44th solo out of nearly 100 starters! I did it again in 2006 with what I called a race board but it simply wasn't full size and I felt like a fraud - I disappeared into the ironing wilderness and did 2007 as part of a pub team as a fallen hero. This year I'm back and proud, I'm going to work on my fixing system, at times in 2005 the board worked loose and went sideways - I looked like the angel of the north!! I also rode under a tree; the board got wedged between 2 branches and pulled me off my bike leaving me hanging with my feet off the ground. It was pitch black and the next rider to come round would have seen me hanging from the tree moaning and asking him to unplug me!!! 

Tell us a bit more about extreme ironing? 

It all started in Leicester and is now worldwide. In a world of conformity and rules, I think it is just a healthy way for people to have fun outdoors, scuba-diving, climbing, skiing anywhere you like really, why be stuck indoors doing the boring task when you could be outside enjoying the scenery and getting some nicely ironed kit too boot! Beats doing it in front of the TV!

For more ideas about what theses guys get up to have a click on this and see for yourself...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olU947pcHeE

Does this mean you’re a dab hand at home with the ironing?

Because I'm 6'1" - ironing more than one shirt hurts my back, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!!!!!!!

It’s from Woolworth’s and was the cheapest, the most painful £9.99 I've ever spent. Same with the iron. It really needs to be a steam iron; those travel irons just don't get the creases out on track and trail.

Will you and the board be co coordinated? 

I have a stunning light blue background with fluffy white clouds cover on that somehow remains clean; it works better than any mudguard! I tend to wear stuff that leaves all the lime light to the fabulous outfit the board is wearing…

Are you sponsored by one of the big iron manufacturers?

 No but I wouldn’t mind being sponsored by someone like Ginsters pasties or Gregg’s the baker, yum yum. But it wouldn’t be the same dressed up as a giant pastie…

Do you put in much training with the board & iron before the event? 

The first time I did it, the trial was in the garden the day before and I put some straps on the top to hold it securely. As soon as I started the race it was immediately clear that it was all-wrong, I couldn't lift my head up to see where I was going. I didn't want to look silly so I rode half a lap before adjusting it.

Generally it just sits in the garage and I occasionally go and reminisce about our adventures but I never train with it on, it's not that kind of neighbourhood and someone would probably run me over with the shock of what they were seeing.

What attracts you to Mayhem? 

It is the biggest and best, it is local and every year I say never again which means I’ll definitely be there... I can't imagine sitting at home while it's on and not doing it - that would either mean I'm a wuss or I've morphed into a "normal" person.

Who’s helping you out during Mayhem? 

I always have mates that ride the event; both solo or in teams and luckily none of them are any good so they don't take it too seriously. My wife Sarah used to stay the whole time, which was great, but she has to disappear now to feed animals etc although I usually go in the horse lorry, which is a great base and dry! Doing solo means that you don't have much spare energy to be nice to the misses and so I don't mind her not staying, it's not much fun when the weathers bad

Will it be a scientific approach to your ride? Energy drinks; gels and bars all the way. Or will it be a Heath Robinson approach? Tea at 8 on the lawn, Barbeque at 9, that sort of thing… 

It’ll be pretty relaxed this year, I am 15 stone and so have a big engine to feed but doing it solo for me means doing several laps per stint between breaks. Gels and drinks don't do much for my constitution and so rice pudding, cereal and jaffa cakes are my staples.

Tell us your ideas of what’s going to keep you going in the depth of the night, when things might get a bit grim… 

Once you start the lap you have to finish and so it's just getting over the line again, which if you've just done a lap is never more than 50 years away. (The thinking therefore goes that if I just ride over that line, the rest will take care of itself - easy). This year I am going to be more relaxed and have a laugh, I'm not going to win and so it is important to stop and stretch my back while pressing a few bits on course.

What are the highs of riding with a board? 

There aren’t any other than putting a smile on people’s faces and showing that however bad they are feeling - it could be worse!!

What are the lows? 

Mainly the brain damage from the board smacking on the back of your helmet when you go over a bump and the fact that you can't ever go as quick as you should.

Do you ride a full sus, hard tail, or singlespeed, just to make things more interesting? 

I have a full suss and beautiful titanium Merlin hardtail, I'll use both. singlespeed would be hard because I have to stay in the saddle to keep my irons centre of gravity low.

Will you be climbing off at certain periods to do a bit of ironing, or will you be ‘pressing’ on at all times? 

I will be more relaxed this year. You have a race mentality naturally to keep going but I'm going to fight it this year and get some photo opportunities in, my ultimate goal is to feature in the EIB calendar, I must be a suppressed secret poser at heart.

Will you be using an ipod to keep you focused? If so what will be the tunes that will keep you on track? 

What are your happiest memories of riding at Mayhem? 

The 3 times I did it at Sandwell the weather was great, I love the sun. The year with the big screen and fireworks, just magic moments on a Saturday night in a field in Worcestershire while the world sleeps unaware that 2000+ riders are doing this.

If you had to choose one tune that you think would sum up your Mayhem experience, what would it be? 

Mmmmmmmm, it will probably rain and be muddy, ‘Always look on the bright side of life’ hasn't got much of a base line or drum beat but would make a good backing track to the event out-takes. My ipod is full of rock, power music like Guns & Roses, Nevada, Rush and the best dance anthems.

What else have you got lined up to do this year? 

The big one this year is my attempt at the previously unset world classic hour record on the track. It is planned for late summer at Newport Velodrome and aerodynamics is critical with track cycling so I'm stuffed! I had to persuade the track manager to let me do it because if I do come off, he will have a Rowenta shaped hole in his track!

Also I have never raised any money from this behavior but next year I'm planning to be the first Lands End to John O'Groats with the board and will get sponsored for that - I think people will relate to that. I struggle to train enough really.

What advice would you offer to anyone thinking about doing this? 

Don’t - or it will be Rowenta's at dawn and they'll have a face full of steam before they can blink!!

And finally a quick summary of man and board:

Used to be normal. Wants to live life to the full and show people that going outside their comfort zone is good. Wishes it was a happier world where everyone appreciated what they had. Likes my bikes (I have a titanium Merlin from the States, it is lovely and shouldn't be cheapened by an idiot with an ironing board. Thinks occasionally I had a Mensa IQ test and scored 161, I

think that can be a negative thing. Loves being alive and having choices, I could do this with a washing machine on my back if I wanted (not!). Hates moody

people, rain and creases up the front of my jeans. Misses good old-fashioned summers, years that used to feel 12 months long, not 4 and spangles. Most

famous for riding a 24 hour mountain bike race with an ironing board and iron. Remembers when polyester sheets were cool (and didn't need ironing). Best

Mayhem tip would be as simple as enjoy it all, the bad bits as well and be proud to be part of a legend,